I am in the mire. Slow cyndi lauper songs and slow covers of up tempo cyndi lauper songs seem to help.
The mire seems particularly dark and sticky at this moment.
Writing may help.
Being unstructured is appealing . The urge for going is strong,,,,,,
The urge to be seen and understood is even stronger .... Impossibly strong while squirreling myself away due to the intensity of everyThing
There is hope and that desire to continue , not just continue but soar but Lordy is the mire sticky, sludgey and dense..... The album Trust by Low is particularly feative now as well. Is this ramblings or a playlist for depression? Both.... Slow sad desperate Sade songs and humble ones by Gillian welch are on constant rotation as well.....
Learning to cut through all the precreated neuro pathways and know what is ME , not wiring, conditioning, brain chemistry , voices of self sacrifice and critique, NOT a response to the pain and fear. Not recoiling and fixing and trying to prevent. This is the beginning .
I am posting now.
Play list
Cyndi Lauper Time after Time
Greg Laswell Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Low Last Snowstorm of the Year
Sade Every Word
Gillian Welch Trouble Mind
